Tiny Tuesday

Tiny Tuesday

Monday night, Anna fell asleep while reading her collection of Gilett Burgess poems. The last poem in the book was her favorite:

THE LECTURE: 

A Slight Divagation

Concerning Cranial Ambulation.

I Love to Go to Lectures,

And Make the People Stare,

By Walking Round Upon Their Heads,

And Spoiling People's Hair!  

Anna awoke Tuesday morning feeling much better. She stretched like a Siamese cat and opened her eyes. 

"Egads!"...she was staring directly into a giant hippo head. In fact the entire Hippo was enclosing her in its enormous soft body. What is happening? This hippo looks familiar. "It’s Hippo, my beanie baby!" How was Hippo grown so enormous? She looked around. Everything had grown enormous. 

No, oh no, she had shrunk! And when she looked at her body, she was wearing a pale pink leotard, a pink and white tutu, pink pointe shoes and silk flowers in her perfect ballet-bunned hair. 

Anna climbed over to her phone. She got on pointe and danced out a text to her mother. “OMG! I am a Tiny Dancer!” The exertion of dancing the text on pointe left her breathless.  

Her mom responded, “No more hyperbole, dear. You must learn to love your body, no matter the size. Gotta go, I’m late for Mah Jong. Tata and all that. Oh, and good job exercising!”

What shall I do? I have to go to class… 

She danced a text to her friend, Karen. “Need a ride to class in your purse, please.” 

Karen had learned long ago not to ask questions. Karen ran right over. 

“Psst.. over here Karen…I’m behind the coffee maker.” Karen picked Anna up – all 6 inches of her and popped her in her purse. “Hey, unzip it, so I can peek out… it’s dark in here,” squawked Anna.

The 2 ladies went to class. Tuesday’s lecture: “Macbeth: Tragedy or Medical Case Study? Did arsenic fumes from local sourced candles cause the inhabitants of Dunsinane to experience delusions, hallucinations and clinical paranoia. Were the Macbeths innocent victims of toxic poisoning?”

The professor began. Anna slipped out of the purse. The professor droned. Anna climbed Heidi’s blonde braid and then made a grand leap to Vintage Veronica’s bouffant hair. She hung out in the bun for a bit as the professor droned on. Then she spied Jereboah. As a protest against the bourgeois matriarchy, Jereboah had let his Afro grow without restraint. She used the top of Veronica’s bun as a springboard and did a triple flip onto Jereboah’s scalp. Oooops, serious miscalculation: when a boy protests his mom, he doesn’t wash his hair. Anna screamed and scrambled and hopped from one head to another.  

The students went wild. The professor droned on. The students caught Anna and tossed her around like a beach ball. She did a split leap in the air when Paula passed her to Petunia. A stag leap from Petunia to Trumbill. Trumbill gave her some extra momentum so she was able to execute a triple turn onto Charlie’s palm. From there, Anna leaped and danced all across the room. The professor droned on. The students were ebullient. Finally Hepplewhite launched Anna onto the shoulder of the droning Professor Cupcakebottom. The students cheered as Anna gracefully alit and the professor concluded his lecture.

“Best class ever!” every student agreed. Professor Cupcakebottom was very pleased with how well his lecture went this Tuesday. He really felt he had proved his thesis regarding history’s maligning of the Macbeths.

Karen and Anna skipped home. When Karen went to the refrigerator she found a special cake. It said “For Anna.” Anna ate the cake and….

Later in bed, Anna wondered what adventures Wednesday would bring.

RQTA 4/28/2015

Monday Morning Monster

Monday Morning Monster

Anna awoke on Monday morning. Something was wrong. She felt like a monster… wait, more like a vegetable. Literally.

She opened her eyes. She looked around the room. Her eyesight was askew. Wherever she looked, the names and labels on her items appeared backwards. She looked at her name on the wall, the one painted in fancy letters in Hawaii. Her own name… her own name was spelled annA.

She tenderly got out of bed. She looked in the mirror. She was shocked and dismayed. Her head was a gigantic raisin; her body a green and rosy pear; her arms and legs green beans. Peas and pod for feet and toes.

She called her mother. “Mama,” she shrieked, “My body is a pear!!! My head is a raisin.”

Her mother chided her. “Oh Anna, dear, you really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You know, I heard that big butts are in. Gotta go… my canasta group is about to start. Toodleoo…”

annA dragged herself to her closet. The labels on all her clothing had reversed themselves. She put on a ecasreV dress and ymmiJ oohC shoes and got her hcoaC bag.  She wobbled off to school.